i don't know if not believing in yourself is worse than not having others believe in you, but having both is just... horrific =_="
self-reflectivity does keep you grounded, and gives way on chances to improve and to grow. fear and doubt in epiphanies are a good thing, right? well, not exactly good, but it does signify that there is an importance of whatever it is you're afraid and doubting about. things that you give a shit about will undoubtedly cause you stress and anxiety in one way or another, or why should you care? if that makes any sense. actually, i don't care if i don't make any sense, because crazy people don't have to care about that. i can think in messed up complicated terms, but that is all i can do x_x;;
i will start all my projects soon ._.
but ending off random internal monologues of madness and confusion, recently played some heavy rain dlc, the taxidermist... it actually scared me. a lot. so onto !!!!!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!!!!! of the 20 minutes of gameplay. i obviously died on my first try xP right near the end sadly... i couldn't tell if i had to hold [o] or tap it =_=;; but yeah, plot holes and time paradox for the win! but seriously... leland's room of... stuffed women. the one on the bed especially. all smiling, staring... and stuffed. but i got all the endings. the end of anguish was literally the most intense gameplay.
also played RE5 Lost in Nightmare. it was fun with the puzzles and running away for dear life, but not enough action. i guess that is what desperate struggle is for... which i have yet to play, but by the looks of it, it's one big endurance and killing chapter, so it's all good. jill and josssshhhh! RE5 reunion is as awesome as the normal merc mode, with ridiculous costumes and more character goodness.
FF13... comes out tmw. sadly and ironically from being in a state of not caring, to spoiling myself the ending... i now want to play this game. sure, the only way to have strong female leads is to not have any strong male leads =_=;; but still, the thought of trying to make a badass female protagonist shows that them times are changing. not all females be damselz. i still claim hope as my fav. the whiny complaining and seemingly useless shota. but he reminds me so much of tsukasa from .hack//SIGN. srsly. and i love me some tsukasa. //***EDIT: randomly started FF13. seems fun enough. at the vestige, so it's only the very beginning x3
i somehow have to get my hands around dragon age still ¬_¬ my bro bought it.. and never played it ._.
and now i am offffffff
Listening to: FFXIII OST - Dust to Dust <3
Reading: The Wild Things - Dave Eggers
Watching: *will* watch Alice in Wonderland... soon
Playing: Heavy Rain: Taxidermist, RE5